Normal is Over

I just watched the environmental documentary Normal Is Over, and am feeling raw and ashamed and pleading with myself to change. Wanting desperately to do something to make a difference, to turn the tide of planetary destruction we are bringing to the earth.

 

I want to help solve all of the problems – economic, social, environmental, they’re all connected – and at the same time feel so helpless because I feel there is nothing I could possibly do that would actually make a difference. I could stop eating meat, stop using plastic, give up my car and go live on a farm, but what difference would it make in the world? I’m not a changemaker, I’m not an influencer, I don’t have a platform or a presence on any kind of political scene. I could make those changes in my individual life, but I worry that I would do it in isolation – making it not only more difficult, but less effective.

 

How would I actually have to change – to change myself – in order to make a change in the larger picture? That’s a scary question. I want to hide behind not knowing the answer, but I’ve been doing that for years, and I’m ashamed of the consequences.

 

Who would I have to become in order to make a difference?

 

I would have to become passionate, to educate myself, to dive deeply into deeply uncomfortable questions, to form opinions and be willing to stand by my convictions and speak for them – loudly and unceasingly.

 

I would have to step into the larger picture, to be willing to admit to, expose and examine the ways in which I contribute to the problems that scare me, to acknowledge and own my past choices and decide to make new ones.

 

I would have to be vulnerable, to seek community more intentionally, to open my mind to other possibilities.

 

Vulnerable, visible, vocal. Be real, be willing, be strong.

 

Stop expecting “other people” to save this planet and its people, if I’m not willing to do it myself.

 

Teach my child by my choices and the way I live them out every day.

 

Become educated, connect with people, not just books, let myself be inspired all the way to action.

 

Create fearlessly and relentlessly, let it pour through me.

 

Decide what I believe, and live by it. If I’m not willing to save myself, how can I expect to help this planet I call home?