Without Words

I want to be still, silent, wordless. For all the emotions in myself to become nameless so that, just for once, I can feel them, raw and ready and formless, without instantly trying to label them. To feel rather than to speak. I am too attached to my words sometimes; I strive to conform my life to fit within the vocabulary most familiar to me. I resist writing nonsense, can't make sense of the feelings I can't name, hide behind the ones I can, as if by naming them I am protected from their full intensity. I have been writing for days and I have not cried. Am I really present in this struggle? Or have my words gotten in the way?